Although arguments are most famous in a relationship, it’s how you end the confrontation. Anyone can argue all day, but how u feel after, determines the next attitude. In a relationship, your spouse is your one and only. He/she is the one you can rely on to have your back through all faults. The one who would protect against all odds.

So let’s say the argument was over finances. Only one has the income as the other struggles. The one struggling has too much pride just to let anyone help them out pay debt, bills, etc. The “financially stable” one has the ability to help you recover from all issues. It’s how to pursue the person who doesn’t want the help. You argue about how to pay and make ends meet. Your spouse is telling you not to worry, yet it’s all in your name. The debt will affect you in some way, shape, or form.

The solution: Swallow your pride! There’s nothing better than to hear the person you love say “I got you.” They just want to help. Your spouse wants to prove to you that you are not alone in the situation. I’ll help you, because “we” are in this together.

That builds trust within the relationship. Help heals wounds discovered and/or hidden. Help builds strength between two people who really love each other. Believe it or not, you are not alone.

Second Scenario: Let’s say there were some skeletons in the closet that one or both didn’t confess too. That’s a problem. Phone calls, text messages, Facebook, it’s all the same. If there is trust, you should be able to tell and share information. Keeping it hidden causes conflict, doubts, and assumptions. No one should ever have to witness or hear their spouse on the phone with another female/male, especially if they are old flames or old sex partners. No one should ever have to see messages or texts from other females/males about how much they “miss you”, “come over to have sex”, “I’m lonely and I need you”, anything like that would cause a conflict.

The solution: Speak it! Check it! End it! You should be able to talk about the problem. Yelling gets you nowhere. (I still have to learn that one.) You want to know the problem, so how hard is it to TELL THE TRUTH! Once again, a lie will cause assumptions. One lie will lead to another, and honestly, it’s a bad habit to break. Your spouse should be able to be woman/man enough to check the situation. Tell him/her to quit calling you, texting you, messaging you, etc. They are irrelevant and you are only about one person, your spouse. Then end the conversation. A happy home keeps a happy couple. If the problem is not handled, how would that make your spouse feel? I’ll tell you. It will make them feel irrelevant, disrespected, and hurt. If that occurs, there’s only one thing to do, CHECK THE PROBLEM!

Last Scenario: (This next one, most of us go through) let’s say your child’s mother/father is a problem. Once you’re in a relationship, the issue with that should involve you as well. You’re in the relationship as a whole; why not help with a child that’s not yours? You shouldn’t have to deal with the issue they (baby mom/dad) just so happen to cause. As a spouse, you shouldn’t have to worry that your man/woman will step out to go back to that old flame because they have child/children together. WRONG!

The solution: Check it! The only time a conversation should happen with the mother/father of the child is when it is about the child. I shouldn’t repeat, but I will. CONVERSATION ABOUT CHILD ONLY! Your spouse should not have to hear you talk to the child’s mother/father about how old times were, your current relationship, or faults of why the relationship ended anyway. Keep the conversation to a minimum. “Your child wants to talk to you.” That’s it. That’s all that should be. There shouldn’t be a constant battle between your spouse and the child’s mother/father. If that were to occur, what should you do? CHECK IT!

Tell your child’s mother/father they are no longer apart of you except for when it comes to the children. Disrespecting your spouse is not an option. You may have to check your spouse too. Why? You don’t want your spouse bad-mouthing to your child/children about their mother/father. That’s disrespecting the children as well as the relationship.

I could come up with a lot more scenarios, but these three happen to be the major reasons why relationships have arguments. Yes, and argument can be healthy in a relationship if and only if handled correctly.

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