How can a simple word as this be so hard for many of us to say?
There is one thing that I think a lot of us are guilty of, and that is the inability to say “no” to others. I was one of those people who would jump through hoops of fire, then crawl through a mud pit then get up and swim across the ocean to please those who I was near and dear to.
As I sit back and think about it I realized that although everyone else benefitted from my generosity, I was always the one who felt like I was the one who always got the short end of the stick. It wasn’t until recently that I decided that I was going to try my best to say no to people especially those who dang sure were worthy of it.
Learning to say no can be difficult but one you out that short word to someone these 10 things may happen to you:
You Will Feel Guilty At First
That people-pleaser in you will make you feel like you are the worst person on earth because you decided to say no to proving a help or a lending hand to someone. You may feel guilty at first but try your best not to dwell on it. You want to be firm on your decision and if you backtrack on this now you will end up going back to your old ways which will defeat the entire purpose of saying no in the first place.
You Will Feel A Sense Of Relief
Saying “no” to someone may give you an adrenaline rush. Something about saying no to You may begin to feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders because you finally gathered the strength to put your needs first for once.
Your Relationships With Others May End
I won’t lie and tell you that it is possible that you may lose a friend or a family member once you say no to them. I’m here to tell you that there is no need to feel bad about it because those types of people weren’t too caring about you in the first place. If a person decided to end a relationship with you because you finally have had enough this will only show you their true colors and show just how selfish they really are. You don’t need those types of people in your life, trust me.
You Begin To Re-evaluate Your Life
There may come a time where you sit back and think about just how much of a people pleaser you have been. You begin to wonder what got you to that point and also wonder who you are. It is easy to be a superwoman for everybody else but easy to forget to save yourself.
You May Go On A “No” Power Trip
Now, I will say I am guilty of this from time to time, but sometimes that satisfying feeling you get from saying, “no” to someone can become a type of drug that you just can’t stop using. You may find yourself saying, “no” to almost everyone and with each no, you get an even higher sensation from it. Now I’m all for saying “no” when needed but save “no” for those who deserve it.
You will begin to set boundaries with those around you
After that initial “no” has been said you will begin to realize it may be a good time to set boundaries with those you are surrounded by. Setting boundaries will let others know what you will and will not tolerate from them.
You will gain a sense of self
Saying “no” may make you realize just how much power you have given to others and now it is the time to take that power back and realize that your love for yourself comes before anyone else.
You Will Become Un-bothered
After a few “nos” you will become unbothered on how you saying ”no” has affected others. It is not your job to care. Say no and let it go!
You begin to do things that make you happy
Once you have gotten some of that power back that you have given to others back you will have more energy to do things that you enjoy or begin to try new things.
You will begin to surround yourself with like-minded people
If you really are tired of giving your all to people who don’t deserve it. You may choose to cut people off who ask for too much from you. You will look for like-minded people to surround yourself with who don’t constantly expect you to do things for them especially those who do not give anything in return.
Saying “no” may seem like it’s not that hard to do but many of us struggle to say it. This blog post just gives you a few of the things that will happen when you say no but this wonderful book gives you even more reasons on the power of saying no.
I think it is important to be ok with not being a people pleaser and going above and beyond for everyone else but yourself. When you neglect yourself you are cheating yourself out of a life you want to live. You will be too focused on others that you fail to realize that saying “no” should not be an option but a necessity.